Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Memo

To: The Chickens
From: The management
Re: Production & expenses
Date: 2/14/10

We realize that in these difficult times, it may be challenging for you to put forth an egg on your usual summer schedule. In fact, to demonstrate our commitment to an improved workplace, we have reduced the quota to a reasonable 4 or 5 eggs total per day. You have so far been able to meet this production quota throughout the winter days, despite lack of adequate daylight hours. For reasons unexplained, your current production has dropped to an unacceptable 0 eggs per day. According to farm legend, "Even a dead chicken lays an egg in February".

As you know, expenses have not dropped accordingly. Eggs are a direct offset for the costs of feed, housing, and care. Not that we don't love you in your own right, mind, but momma wants some scrambled eggs.
The Brown Leghorn got the memo. She is hard at work.


The Barred Plymouth Rock got the memo. She is also hard at work.

What the Bantam rooster thinks he is doing? We have no idea. But we appreciate the show of support.

10 comments:

Melodie said...

You could always try taking out a big soup pot and setting each one in it and telling them,"See how nice you fit in here!" Maybe it will inspire them to start laying!

thecrazysheeplady said...

I'm sorry, but the rooster shot is hilarious. Are they maybe hiding eggs somewhere? I've got frozen eggs stashed all over the stupid place here...

melanie said...

I love the soup pot inspiration! (But I am afraid they know we wouldn't really do it...)

Frozen eggs? Hmmm...I haven't looked that hard...but you've got me wonderin'...

Christine said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!! Best post EVER. And I so needed that laugh today.

Joanna@BooneDocksWilcox said...

are you having lay offs? we threatened to cut benefits and that seemed to get a few motivated. right now everybody has health insurance but...

Christy said...

Great memo, let us know how it works. My guess is they are hiding them somewhere.

kristi said...

Dear Wee Farm Chickens:
Are you union? If not, you may want to join one. They could help you if your living conditions are not satisfactory. We hear that you live in quite a cold climate. Perhaps you are feeling neglected and are not receiving your daily hugs and pats on the head. Is your caretaker under excessive stress and taking it out on you? Have you tried calling the 911-chicken hot line? We suggest laying one egg a day to at least pacify your owner. Eventually she will get over it. Though, rumor on the blog was that there are new chicks coming to your place?? You may need to send a strong message in protest. Sincerely, Harvest Thyme Chicks w/Attitude.

Nancy K. said...

I guess you told them!

Did it work???

:-)

Nancy ~ who's been blessed with a flock of bantam mille fleur cochins who don't seem to realize that chickens don't lay during the winter months!

melanie said...

That's it, Nancy...remind me again of how eggless I am...(lol)

Kathy said...

Good memo. Will send copy on to my chickens and my bantam rooster, who has been found in the nest boxes more than once lately. What the heck is it with these bantam guys, anyway?????